the art of surrender

photo(14)

I am learning that to bring a new life into the world is an act of surrender.

 

Beginning with the moment of conception, you must surrender to a vulnerability that is unmatched by anything else you’ve known. You accept that such intimacy sews the seeds of baptism–that with conception comes the death of your old life and the birth of a new.

 

You must surrender control of your known body and inhabit a changing self with curves and aches and bulges where there once were none.You must bend to foreign appetites and desires and emotions as they roll through your days.

 

You must surrender to discomfort and pain from those first moments of tilting sea sickness to the tidal wave of labor to the exhaustive crash of care taking. You learn that to sit with pain is the secret to soothing it.

 

You must surrender control of expectations about who this baby will be. He will come into this world with his own imprint and mission, and you must know that you are his lighthouse, not his architect. You must know to guide him, not fashion him in your image.

 

You must surrender to time and make friends with patience, recognizing that in those quiet hours of contemplation when you wonder how you will survive this, God speaks to you about how you

 

were created,

 

deliberately,

 

to survive this.

 

This life within me–this tiny fig of a boy–he is my tutor in the art of surrender.

12 Responses to “the art of surrender”

  1. Claudette K Dill says:

    This is very beautifully written and poignant.

  2. Kurt Knudsen says:

    Ah Krisanne! Your way with words is wonderful. You will be an amazing mother to this boy!

  3. Beth says:

    Well written. My favorite lines are these:
    “You learn that to sit with pain is the secret to soothing it.”
    “know that you are his lighthouse, not his architect”
    Not only will you survive, you will thrive.

  4. Tara says:

    What a beautiful way to describe the sacred soul shaping process that is motherhood. So difficult to put into words yet you did so clearly.. Thanks for sharing your gift. I’m grateful tonight as I reflect my own process of surrendering. God bless you on your own journey!!

  5. Tiff says:

    Are you sure you’ve never lived yoga before?? :)

    I love this.

    I would add, this is not the surrender of the white flag sort, where one gives up the right to win the battle. This is the surrender that whispers of sacrifice–of giving up something good for something greater. It’s easily forgotten in the day to day of motherhood (of life!) that our sacrifices equal something greater. The short term does not always manifest it. And yet, there are those soul engulfing moments when you know that any thing you ever surrendered was dross compared to THIS–this gut-wrenching, heart swelling, divine role that you have taken on…..parenthood. You can never go back to the mere mortal you were before. Who would want to?

    • admin says:

      Tiff–Yes, I love your definition of surrender–exactly. I can tell you feel that–you get it. Let’s be yogis together, shall we? :)

  6. Ruth Cluness says:

    I love the words, ‘you are his lighthouse, not his architect.’ So true and so perfectly put. Motherhood will demand a lot of your time, but I truly hope you can still a few precious moments to pen a book!! P.S. I will be keenly keeping up with your blog from now on:)

  7. admin says:

    Ruth–Ah, always so good to hear from you! Thanks so much for following. I have a feeling that having this baby will inspire me to write more than usual. So much new territory to navigate! Love you. xo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>